Alone
by Weezer Girl
Summary: Why? That's what it all boiled down to for Remus Lupin.


AN: Hello, everyone. This was just a little thing that I wrote awhile ago and I figured I would post it. It's just a little piece on how Remus felt after he heard that Sirius betrayed Lily and James (or so he thought!)

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize.

**Alone**

How could he?

He had been so happy and content! _Why_ would he?

He loved Lily and James and absolutely _adored_ little Harry. He would go out of his way to see him every day that he could.

Had Remus missed something? Had Sirius been so unhappy? Unhappy enough to betray his godson, friend, and brother? Unhappy enough to turn to the other side?

Had he never seen how much Remus had wanted that bond that he had with James? They had been brothers! And he had thrown that away. Remus had spent all of his life wishing for such a close bond.

And Sirius had sold it to Voldemort.

For what? Power? The need to fit into his family?

That was absurd- hadn't Sirius always told them that he hated his family with everything fiber of his being?

_What if he was lying when he would tell us that? Just covering up the fact that he was just like them. After all, he did kill Lily and James. _

Killed.

Remus still couldn't believe it. Lily and James were dead.

_Lily and James. _

They had had so much more life to live, though! They had never grown old together, never seen their son off to his first day at Hogwarts, or seen him play in his first Quidditch match.

And then there was baby Harry.

How had little Harry survived the wrath Voldemort when Lily or James couldn't? They had gotten away from him three times! Why hadn't it been four? Remus would give anything for it to be four times.

Lily had given her life for Harry. She adored him, after all. He was her son- her beautiful miracle of a baby.

And James- ever the hero- had tried to protect them. He had always pulled it off before. Why not once more?

That's what it all came down to for Remus.

Why?

Why did Sirius give in?

Why did James and Lily have to die?

Why did a baby- only alive for one year- survive when two of the most courageous, wonderful, and smart people that Remus had ever known died?

Why did all of his friends have to leave?

He had no one now. Transformations had been painful enough- without his friends' support, he was sure he would die from the pain.

Peter was dead- killed by Sirius for an uncharacteristic show of courage. He had never been able to stand up to Sirius, James, or Remus before- always afraid of them because they had more power than he did. That's what had always frightened and enticed him the most- the prospect of power.

James was dead- killed by a demon that wanted nothing more than power and had no problem with stepping on and demolishing lives to get to that power.

Lily was dead- killed for trying to protect her child.

Dumbledore had told Remus that Harry would be taken away- for his own good. To grow up with his family, in the muggle world. To hide.

And Sirius. Sirius was dead in Remus' eye. There was no explanation for what he did. No possible excuse for such a horrible thing. It was unforgivable.

Unimaginable.

Sirius? Happy-go-lucky Sirius? How could he ever kill two of his best friends? And to put Harry's life on the line? Really? It made no sense.

He could hear the celebrations going on outside. It was like they were mocking him. Those firecrackers, those shouts of joy, those faces filled with such utter glee.

It was hard for Remus to get through the weeks following Halloween. Wizards and witches running around- happy, carefree, and often reckless. They were free from fear! They were safe.

He couldn't do that. James dead. Lily dead. Peter dead. Harry off to live with those wretched muggles that Lily always used to complained about. Sirius a _traitor_.

_Really, Remus? Sirius? He wasn't a coward. He stood up for those he loved. He would never do that, _that small, quiet voice in Remus' mind whispered. _None of this makes sense. It doesn't add up. _

It took Remus twelve years to finally find out what really happened on that fateful day. He had the help of a piece of parchment he thought that he would never see again and the son of his best friend and the woman who had loved him. He had the help of boy who lived.

AN: Please review!


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